In tribute to this weekend’s Oscar ceremony, we are drafting all of the previous Best Picture Winners, based on statistical factors that we believe assist in quantifying their subjective values. Why are we doing this, you ask? In short: we like drafting. We really, really like drafting.
DRAFT METRICS.
Prior to each draft, four categories are chosen for statistical evaluation of each prospect:
1. RECEPTION.How well each film was critically received.
Metric: (Rotten Tomatoes Percentage / 10)
2. HARDWARE. Total Oscars Awarded, in addition to Best Picture.
Metric: (1 Oscar = 1)
3. LEGACY. Oscar winners that went on to become the films we most treasure.
Metric: (100 – AFI Top 100 Rank / 10)
4. INTANGIBLES. As this process is still inherently subjective, we allow each GM to score each prospect, from 1 to 5, by whatever unfounded opinions they have formed.
Metric: (GM1 Score + GM2 Score)
The combined score from these four categories equals a Draftee’s Overall Prospect Rating (OPR), which will allow GMs to compare draftees over several dissimilar categories throughout the course of time.
YOUR GMs.
Each draft is conducted between two teams, Team Humanity and Team Chaos.
DRAFTING ON BEHALF OF HUMANITY:
Dylan Lamb, Founder of The Everything Draft.
Send him your thoughts.
DRAFTING ON BEHALF OF CHAOS:
Blake Lowell, Resident Nemesis.
Follow him on Instagram.
THE DRAFT.
The Best Picture Oscar Winner Draft will be performed in a classic serpentine style, with a 1-2–2–1 structure for every round. At the time of Drafting, Dylan had seen 64 Best Picture winners, narrowly topping Blake’s 63. From this, he received the draft’s first pick.
ROUNDS 1-3
1. THE GODFATHER. 32.6 OPR.
Dylan: Any movie I prefer over The Godfather is admittedly irrational. It’s the GOAT.
Blake: It’s hard to argue with this pick. Love a good Sterling Hayden flick.
Dylan: Readers, the tactic Blake uses above is known as ‘Ving Rhames-ing‘ a movie, name-dropping a picture’s seventh-billed actor in attempts to lessen its significance while also floating some trivial knowledge. This started when Blake referred to Pulp Fiction as ‘That Ving Rhames movie’. You’ll grow immune to it just as I have.
2. ALL ABOUT EVE. 33.2 OPR.
Blake: I think it’s the single greatest film that ever won Best Picture. Certainly the greatest screenplay. The Godfather is amazing, but All About Eve is everyone at the absolute peak of their powers.
Dylan: This is an excellent movie. Its metrics are off the charts. You might have been able to trade down for it, but the bottom line is that anyone would want this on their roster.
3. THE APARTMENT. 26.3 OPR.
Blake: I was concerned it wouldn’t make it back to me and I needed to have it.
Dylan: It scored a perfect Intangible rating from us both. Third though?
Blake: I would gladly give my third pick and my life for Shirley MacLaine.
4. CASABLANCA. 32.4 OPR.
Dylan: My counter-argument in the ‘greatest screenplay’ debate.
Blake: Yeah, that’s a phenomenal pick. Peak Peter Lorre.
Dylan: Rhames-ing my top two picks? Salty!
5. THE GODFATHER, PART II. 31.5 OPR.
Dylan: Double the Oscars of the original. A sequel and a prequel. Bringing it aboard to silence the contrarians who prefer it. #TrustTheSaga
Blake: Didn’t realize that I was drafting against everyone’s dad.
Dylan: Literally everyone’s dad will agree with those first three picks.
Blake: Your list reads like a Best Movies thread on a golf forum.
6. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST. 31.2 OPR.
Dylan: Nicholson v. Fletcher is a heavyweight title fight.
Blake: Great lead performances. Impossibly deep bench.
7. MOONLIGHT. 22.8 OPR.
Blake: There is nothing else like it in the pool of remaining movies. I’m happy to potentially overpay a little to get this on my roster.
Dylan: It definitely gets points for most dramatic Best Picture win.
8.TITANIC. 27.5 OPR.
Dylan: Titanic is one of only two Best Picture winners on the 100 highest grossing movies of all time, and it’s Number 2. Oh, plus eleven Oscars.
Blake: Defend this pick. Is it just advanced metrics looking to rack up big points?
Dylan: Jason Witta and I rented this double-VHS in fifth grade and watched it in the guest house of his cabin and we both cried and promised not to tell anyone (sorry Jason, but thanks for the assist). How can a movie evoke that type of emotion and be the sexual awakening of 70% of women and 40% of men my age?
Blake: Solid point there.
9. THE STING. 26.3 OPR.
Blake: First Billy Zane, now Newman and Redford? You’re taking all my guys!
Dylan: Admittedly this is a draft-and-stash pick for future trade negotiations. In the meantime, I’ll give another listen to that Joplin soundtrack.
Blake: Great film, I love it with all my heart. But it wasn’t on my radar for another two rounds.
10. REBECCA. 22.0 OPR.
11. NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN. 23.3 OPR.
Blake: Happy to score the only Hitchcock and the only Coen in one fell swoop. Auteurs, #TeamChaosis here for you!
12. THE DEPARTED. 23.1 OPR.
Dylan: Doubling up on Leo while scratching my Nicholson itch.
Blake: Of course I brag about my directors and you take the only Scorsese.
ROUNDS 4-8
13.THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. 25.1 OPR.
Dylan:Nabbing a fellow winner of all “Big 5” Oscars to guard Cuckoo’s Nest.
Blake: Film bros love Demme. I think it’s good-not-great. And Tony Hopkins should have been slotted in supporting.
Dylan: Whichever Oscar you want him to win is fine by me, but it’s one of the most memorable performances of all time and he does it playing Tyus Jones minutes.
14.ON THE WATERFRONT. 32.9 OPR.
Blake: Zero respect for snitches but total respect for Brando in Buffalo plaid.
Dylan: This is probably the only prospect in history who told a GM straight-up that he’s a bum and they still drafted him.
15. WEST SIDE STORY. 32.3 OPR.
Dylan: Krup! I let this fall too far. Definitely the top musical on the board.
Blake: Thrilled to have it drop into my lap. Worth it for Rita Moreno alone.
16. GONE WITH THE WIND. 33.7 OPR.
Dylan: This movie is a metrics MONSTER, with the highest Overall Prospect Rating on the entire board. At sixteen?!
Blake: Feel free to take it as a cultural artifact but it’s a long, bad movie.
Dylan: Frankly, my dude…
17. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA. 32.1 OPR.
Blake: Of the overly long epics that made a sh*t ton of money, this one is a much better pick for you.
Dylan: O’Toole’s baby blues are contained by no metric. Shout out to my uncle Chris for fast-forwarding through the entire desert on my first viewing, telling me I ‘get the idea’.
18. THE FRENCH CONNECTION. 29.8 OPR.
19. 12 YEARS A SLAVE. 22.6 OPR.
Dylan: Steve McQueen > Steve McQueen. That statement can be as controversial as you want to make it.
20. SCHINDLER’S LIST. 31.1 OPR.
Blake: Schindler’s List is a golf forum pick for sure.
Dylan: Glad to take the only Spielberg on this list. His other movie that year? Jurassic Park. That’s gotta be the greatest multiple-film year for any director, ever.
21. MIDNIGHT COWBOY. 26.7 OPR.
Dylan: Pouring a little Waldo Salt on this wound.
Blake: This one stings. The pick, not the pun.
22. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT. 28.2 OPR.
23. ROCKY. 24.6 OPR.
Dylan: Did you pick this to remind yourself after this draft that winning isn’t everything?
Blake: HOW DARE YOU. It Happened One Night is arguably the greatest rom-com of all time, and Rocky is arguably the greatest sports movie of all time. I’m happy.
24. AMADEUS. 26.5 OPR.
Dylan: This is “arguably the greatest classical music rivalry movie” of all time, and a great allegory for our friendship.
Blake: Amadeus is a great film and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives arguing over who is the Mozart and who is the Salieri.
25. IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT. 25.1 OPR.
26. ANNIE HALL. 26.2 OPR.
Blake: Separating the artist from the art has become even more prickly with the Weinstein revelations and the growing momentum behind the #MeToo movement. That being said, filmmaking is a collaborative process and I couldn’t let Diane Keaton’s performance fall any further.
Dylan: … But like, does he really need the eggs?
27. UNFORGIVEN. 22.8 OPR.
Dylan: You’re destroying me in the Gene Hackman game right now. My dad’s going to be upset I didn’t get Unforgiven, but I hope he’s somewhat consoled by BOTH Godfathers.
28. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING. 23.4 OPR.
Blake: Don’t tell #TheNerds, but I’m out on all Hobbit-related content.
Dylan: Nerds, #TeamHumanity is here for you. LOTR:ROTK is the only other Best Picture winner to currently appear on the Top 100 all-time grossing movies, and it also took home 11 Oscars from the ceremony, tying it with Titanic and…
29. BEN-HUR. 27.6 OPR.
Dylan: … this guy. Locking up all three 11-time winners is like having a trio of Bill Russells on your squad.
Blake: I saw Ben-Hur at the Hollywood Theater when I was in middle school with one of my best friends and it was an ideal moviegoing experience. That being said, it’s like five hours long and I have a hard time imagining you ever sitting down to watch it again without it being some sort of punishment, or bet, or dare.
30.AN AMERICAN IN PARIS. 22.5 OPR.
Dylan: I get you couldn’t pick Singin’ In The Rain instead, but why didn’t the Academy?
Blake: Wizard of Oz and Singin’ In The Rain are still the two biggest snubs for me.
Dylan: What about Annie Hall over Star Wars?
Blake: Annie Hall is still better. Sorry, Nerds!
Dylan: Wow, #TheNerds are really taking heat from you today.
Blake: You can have ’em.
31.GLADIATOR. 20.6 OPR.
Dylan:I was thinking about drafting this movie. But not yet. Not yet.
32. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI. 29.8 OPR.
Blake: You are REALLY leaning into these dad vibes.
Dylan: This is pure value, which I understand sounds like something a dad would say.
Blake: I’m not here for your metrics. The public will vindicate my roster.
Dylan: Not so sure about that. You know who reads movie blogs? #Nerds do.
Blake: Great point. #Nerds, I’d just like to say… STAR WARS AND LOTR STILL SUCK, THE FAST & THE FURIOUS IS A BETTER FRANCHISE IN EVERY WAY.
Dylan: Well, you tried.
ROUNDS 9-14
33. PATTON. 23.5 OPR.
Dylan: Cornering the ‘refused-Oscar’ market with this pick. I’m also going to bring this dad thing up with my therapist.
Blake: Report back with what they say, I’m super curious!
34.LOST WEEKEND. 20.0 OPR.
35. THE HURT LOCKER. 21.7 OPR.
Blake: While I wish Bigelow had won for Point Break, the first 20 minutes of Hurt Locker totally own.
Dylan: The Hurt Locker is a 2 hour and 11 minute film.
36. MY FAIR LADY. 25.6 OPR.
37. TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. 20.8 OPR.
38. THE SOUND OF MUSIC. 25.6 OPR.
Dylan: For being such a cynic, you seem to really champion “woefully optimistic people spinning around in public places” as your musical subgenre.
Blake: “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?” That song still KNOCKS.
39. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES. 22.6 OPR.
40. CHICAGO. 20.6 OPR.
Blake: Chicago is good. Solid pick this late for John C. Reilly’s “Cellophane” alone.
Dylan: Ironically, this might be my dad’s favorite movie in this draft.
41. FORREST GUMP. 20.5 OPR.
Blake: Woof. Would have gone undrafted on my end.
Dylan: You make me cry that consistently, there’s a spot on this roster for you.
42. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT. 19.0 OPR.
43. HOW GREEN WAS MY VALLEY. 19.0 OPR.
Dylan: Isn’t this the boring movie about a Welsh farmer that beat Citizen Kane?
Blake:John Ford, baby! Welcome to the auteur club, grab a cigar.
44. SUNRISE. 22.6 OPR.
Dylan: Only recipient ever of the “Best Picture – Unique and Artistic Vision” Award. I’d like to challenge Wings to a 1-on-1 screening to determine who’s the real top dog of 1927.
45. THE DEER HUNTER. 24.1 OPR.
46. MARTY. 20.0 OPR.
Blake: Borgnine’s incredible. Script by Paddy Chayevsky. I was blown away by this.
Dylan: I consider Marty to be the Mendoza Line of this draft.
47. BIRDMAN, OR: (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE). 18.1 OPR.
48. ORDINARY PEOPLE. 19.0 OPR.
Blake:Ordinary People <<< Ordinary People the John Legend song.
Dylan: Remember Timothy Hutton before TNT devoured him? He and MTM owned this movie. It was also Donald Sutherland’s best shot at Oscar, but some movie named Raging Bull came out that year as well I guess?
49. SPOTLIGHT. 17.7 OPR.
Blake: Spotlight is the quintessential plane movie. It deserves to be seen on a five-inch screen.
Dylan: My marketing team is slicing that solid burn to read “It deserves to be seen!” with your name next to it.
50. SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE. 23.2 OPR.
51.AMERICAN BEAUTY. 20.8 OPR.
Dylan: Going Spacey & Weinstein in back-to-back picks is rather brazen.
Blake: If you don’t think I’m getting into the Annette Bening and Geoffrey Rush business this late then you don’t know #TeamChaos at all.
52. RAIN MAN. 18.9 OPR.
53. GIGI. 22.7 OPR.
54. GRAND HOTEL. 15.6 OPR.
55. ALL THE KING’S MEN. 18.7 OPR.
56. YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU. 17.1 OPR.
Dylan: This is my consolation for not being able to pick It’s A Wonderful Life.
Blake:You are a whore for Capra.
ROUNDS 15-20
57. OLIVER! 19.1 OPR.
Blake: Wow.
Dylan: I had to get my Oliver Reed score up after you snatched Gladiator. Also, Ron Moody’s Fagin could torch anyone in these later rounds.
58. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY. 24.2 OPR.
59. THE ENGLISH PATIENT. 22.4 OPR.
Blake: My mom says The English Patient rules and she’s rarely steered me wrong.
Dylan: My mom would agree. But I just remember Ralph Fiennes in bed a lot?
Blake: Oooh!
Dylan: No, but like, ill.
Blake: Oh.
60. KRAMER VS. KRAMER. 19.8 OPR.
61. GOING MY WAY. 20.8 OPR.
Blake: You can have all the Streep you want, but losing the only Bing winner hurts.
Dylan: You’re anti-nerd, and anti-Streep? Exactly which market are you cornering?
Blake: Hm. You should probably delete that Streep comment. Streets ain’t safe for Streep-indifferent folks like me! Devil Wears Prada is her best film, tho.
Dylan: This sounds like a different draft entirely.
62. GENTLEMAN’S AGREEMENT. 16.8 OPR.
Blake: The journalism movie Spotlight wishes it was. What seems like a movie about a guy having an affair turns out to be one where Gregory Peck investigates anti-Semitism.
Dylan: Oh yeah, that’s the Gregory Peck we all remember: good ol’ Gregory Peck the journalist.
63. PLATOON. 18.2 OPR.
64. CHARIOTS OF FIRE. 18.3 OPR.
65. TOM JONES. 18.3 OPR.
66. THE LAST EMPEROR. 25.2 OPR.
Blake: Since I’m stockpiling great directors I’ll bring Bertolucci into the fold.
Dylan: Problematic auteurs at value prices IS #TeamChaos. Mel is still available btw.
67. OUT OF AFRICA. 17.7 OPR.
Blake: How could I pass up on my FAVORITE ACTRESS Meryl Streep this late?
Dylan: This is a nice redemption tour for you.
Blake: My mom would have disowned me if I didn’t pick this up.
68. MILLION DOLLAR BABY. 18.1 OPR.
69. HAMLET. 18.1 OPR.
70. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY. 16.4 OPR.
71.SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. 22.2 OPR.
Blake: Jai-Ho!
Dylan: Jai-Ho-verrated.
72. GANDHI. 22.7 OPR.
73. THE KING’S SPEECH. 18.5 OPR.
Dylan: Taking this opportunity to launch the new hashtag campaign #FIRTHSTY.
Blake: That hashtag is… a lot.
Dylan: Nerds, grab your #FIRTHSTY merch in The Everything Draft Store, today!
74. THE GREAT ZIEGFELD. 15.5 OPR.
75. CRASH. 15.5 OPR.
76. DANCES WITH WOLVES. 18.3 OPR.
77. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS. 18.4 OPR.
Blake: This is your worst round yet, and you’re the guy who took Titanic over No Country and Rebecca.
Dylan: DAMN MY NEWLY-VOICED ADMIRATION FOR KEVIN COSTNER!
78. ARGO. 16.6 OPR.
79. WINGS. 17.5 OPR.
Dylan:I resent you taking Argo over Wings, even if it’s arbitrary.
80. A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS. 20.2 OPR.
ROUNDS 21-22
81.DRIVING MISS DAISY. 16.4 OPR.
Dylan: I’m now up 2 Morgan Freeman movies to 1. Shout out to The Piggly Wiggly.
Blake: Nope. Trash film. #JusticeForDoTheRightThing. I need a shorter hashtag.
Dylan: There has to be one DMD fan out there that’ll tip the scales though. Maybe?
Blake: I mean, everybody has one kinda racist aunt.
82. THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. 12.4 OPR.
83. MRS. MINIVER. 20.2 OPR.
Dylan: I just fell asleep during the title of Mrs. Miniver.
84.THE ARTIST. 18.6 OPR.
Blake: The Artist is trash, btw.
Dylan: Anyone who likes the show Fraiser as much as you do should at least give props to that dog.
85. THE LIFE OF EMILE ZOLA. 16.5 OPR.
86. CAVALCADE. 15.1 OPR.
87. CIMARRON. 14.3 OPR.
Dylan:Way to grow a conscience on the very last pick and avoid adding Braveheart to your problematic auteur menagerie.
Blake: That was an endurance test. The white wine helped on my end.
MR. IRRELEVANT:
88. A BEAUTIFUL MIND. 14.5 OPR.
UNDRAFTEDS:
XX. BRAVEHEART. 16.7 OPR.
XX. BROADWAY MELODY. 10.5 OPR.
Draft Duration:3 hours, 24 minutes.
Basically the length of your average Best Picture Winner.
BY THE METRICS.
AVERAGE AFI SCORE: #TeamHumanity (1.7) > #TeamChaos (1.4)
TOTAL OSCARS WON: #TeamHumanity (243) > #TeamChaos (205)
AVERAGE ROTTEN TOMATOES: #TeamHumanity (89%) =#TeamChaos (89%)
AVERAGE INTANGIBLES RATING: #TeamHumanity (6.4) < #TeamChaos (6.8)
AVERAGE PROSPECT RATING: #TeamHumanity (25.2) > #TeamChaos (21.7)
CONCLUSION.
The final, ever-evolving rosters for Team Humanity and Team Chaos can be found here.
Who leaves victorious? That choice is yours.
Please cast your vote below. You might as well: you’ve already made it to the bottom of this very long list.
Enjoy the Academy Awards, and check out what’s Next on Draft.
The Everything Draft 